...I am The One And Only.. nobody I'd rather be... I am the One And Only.. you can't take that away from me..da da dada da la la da da......

For some unfathomable reason I have had this mightily annoying song in my head ALL DAY!! It is driving me crazy

Oh well... I have passed it on to you nowDD

I AM THE ONE AND ONLY.... NOBODY I'D RATHER BE.... hmm hmmm la la la la la hmm hmm la la...

Well I never thought in a million years that I would have the self discipline to stick to a VLCD for NINE WEEKS without cheating but I HAVE. Well done me!!

I lost 2 lbs this week. Not a great loss, but a loss all the same.

I feel soooo much healthier and happier and confident and energetic than I have in a long time. Its a great feeling. I also feel like I have some control over my life again. Great stuff.

Its only 9 days now till we are next at the fertility clinic. So I've got nine days left to make sure I am as skinny as can be!! I am starting to get SOOOOO excited. At long long long last we will finally have a chance at conceiving. I'm trying not to get too excited as we undoubtedly have a difficult time ahead...but I can't help it... I am already deciding how to decorate the spare room (aka nursery).

So yeah, I'm totally focused for the week ahead, particularly because W8 have revamped their "meal packs" and improved the flavours... they are now much nicer. They've even brought out a Spaghetti Bolognaise which is GORGEOUS! Yum yum yum.

My hubby has moved onto phase 2 of management now. He lost another 4 lbs this week.. grrrr. This is despite eating 2 Snickers Bars and god knows what else! He has now lost over 3 and a half stone and is lighter than he has ever been since I've known him!! Its quite wierd. But good wierd. Hes now got the cutest bum ever and is a total hotty!

I am so glad we have done this diet. It has made us both healthier and happier and has been worth every penny.

It is no secret that my short term ambitions are to loose weight and have a baby with my husband...that is the main focus of my blog.

However, I have spent some time thinking about what my longer term ambitions are. I have plenty of sensible ambitions but also some that are rather random. Just thought I'd share the random ones with you....

1. Own a springer spaniel called Daniel (black & white one).
2. Own a beautiful white gold ring with a peridot gemstone and diamonds.
3. Own the original Caroline Shotton painting "From Me To Moo" or "Close to Moo" or in fact any of her paintings.
(oops I'm starting to sound a bit materialistic here!!)
4. Work with elephants - (the most beautiful amazing animals on the planet!)
5. Be able to grow plants from seed without killing them all!

Hopefully I'll fulfill them all one day!

Well i've had a rather uneventful week. Haven't really put the effort in with the diet. Haven't drunk all the water I should have and I have been picking at my hubby's dinner because he is on management now and able to eat all sorts of delicious food... like mincemeat, mushrooms, tomatoes, sweet potatoes, onions etc.

Also I am still recovering from bum surgery so haven't been able to do any exercise.

So it was no surprise that I only lost one pound at weigh-in today. Its a pound in the right direction and i am quite happy with that. I now weigh 13 stone 2 lb. Just 3 pounds to go to get my BMI to 29.

So yeah I am quite pleased that I have lost something. I have had a bit of a shitty week really and I am proud of myself for not walking to the shop and buying a huge box of maltesers and a carton of fresh orange juice ... believe me I have been very tempted.

I've had no end of problems following the surgery two weeks ago. Am due to see the surgeon on Friday to see if they can sort something out for me. I'm getting quite stressed with it all as the date for our fertility treatment gets nearer and nearer.

I am supposed to be back at work on Wednesday but can't decide whether to go to GP for another sick note or not. One minute I'm fine but the next minute I'm not. I guess I'll see how I feel in the morning.

I'm gonna put some proper effort in with the diet this week. I'm almost there and with a bit of effort I can shift that last few pounds.

Well I've been at home now for six days and cabin fever is starting to set in...and I've got another week to go before I'm back at work.

The novelty of daytime TV has worn off now and I'm bored of looking at the same four walls (especially cos the lounge is in dire need of re-decorating).

I can't drive again yet and can't really walk very far so am a bit limited really. I'm trying not to spend all my time sitting at the computer but I think I am ADDICTED!!

Oh well, I shouldn't moan... in a few weeks time when I'm stressed out at work I will wish I was laid at home with nothing to do!!

Some people are just never happy

Well I managed to drag my sorry ass to weigh-in tonight (though i couldn't stay cos it still hurts to sit down)

Over the last two weeks I have lost a respectable EIGHT pounds! Thats a total of 2 stone 1 lb in seven weeks.

I am very happy with that AND I am no longer obese... I am officially "overweight". Whooo!

The best news is that if I manage to loose 4lbs next week I will have entered the 12 stone category AND my BMI will be under the magic number of 29!! I will still have 3 weeks and 3 days to get my weight as low as I can before starting IUI/IVF but as long as my BMI is under 29, that is all that matters.

At last the end is in sight!!! I never thought I would loose enough weight by the 6th June deadline, but for the first time since I've started this diet I actually think that I CAN DO IT!! Hooray.

My husband started management last week so has been eating loads (including 3 Shortbread choc chip cookies & 2 Kitkats) and was a bit worried he might have put weight on. But no, he STILL managed to loose FIVE pounds this week! OMG...I wanna be a man!!

BBQ season has definatley started.

The smell of sizzling burgers and sausages has been wafting into our house this weekend. Yuummmmm.

Was invited to a friends "BBQ Season has landed" party at the weekend but of course I couldn't go a) cos I am poorly b) cos I couldn't eat anything anyway c) cos I couldn't have drunk any alcohol. Sounds like it got quite messy with lots of sambuka and absynth flying around. Perhaps its just as well I couldn't go.

I'm looking forward to sitting in my back garden, in the sunshine, with a large glass of ice cold vodka soda & fresh lime in one hand and a big greasy cheeseburger smothered in ketchup in the other. Bring it on!!!

Well I don't feel any better and a good nights sleep isn't gonna make things go away.

Its all quite embarrasing really but basically I had an abscess on my arse, it has appeared about four times over the last 1-2 years. It reared its ugly head again last Sunday and by Monday morning I couldn't take the pain any more so went to A&E to get it cut and drained.

Ended up being admitted to the ward and having surgery to remove the infected tissue and insert a cutting seton into an anal fistula that the surgeon found. I'm not gonna go into the gory details but if you have ever had the misfortune of having a high anal fistula and/or an abscess you will feel my pain!!

I could have lived with this if it was a one-off operation. HOWEVER the Doctor told me that I will need to have several operations under general anasthetic over the next 6-12 months. This is because if they cut my bum muscle all at once I could end up being incontinent. Nice.

The main problem is of course that the whole reason I am loosing weight is because in a few weeks I am supposed to be starting fertility treatment. I cannot have the operations to heal the fistula if I am pregnant.

So my choices are:
1 Delay the fertility treatment - fix my bottom and be pain free or
2 Have the fertility treatment and put up with a leaky pain in the butt.

To be honest I don't feel like I have a choice. I have waited three and a half years for this chance at having a baby and I can't delay it any more.

So its back to the hospital in three weeks to see if the bum surgeon can work something out for me... like putting a draining seton in for the next 12 months or something or anything but just not putting my life on hold any longer, because I just could not cope with that.

So yeah, basically, I'm having a really shit time. I am in considerable pain, I feel degraded, going to the toilet is a complete trauma, in fact moving/walking/sitting is a complete trauma, I cannot see that I will have anything of a sex life in the near future, I am gutted that I am off work AGAIN, I am worried about paying all my bills when I'll only get sick pay, I feel like everytime i dare to believe that things are going right for me I get hit with some other shit to deal with. Most of all I miss my mum. HAPPY DAYS!!!

Oh yeah, on the diet front... I've hardly eaten anything all week, though my hubby has been looking after me and making me meals off the "food list". I haven't moved round much either, and I haven't drunk that much water cos its too much of an ordeal running to the loo every 5 mins.

I'm gonna try and make it to weigh in on Monday, so we'll see what happens. I better have lost SOMETHING though or I think that will be the final straw!!!!

Had to put the diet on hold for a few days. Been poorly in hospital. Have been eating hospital food as haven't had strength to resist (and I have a strange liking for hospital food in the same way i like airoplane food).
Am home now and feeling much better. I've missed this weeks weigh-in so am not sure how much I've lost.
Gonna get back on track tomorrow after a good nights sleep. Still need to achieve 3lbs a week to be on target.
Only problem now is i can't do any exercise for a few weeks, and am full of painkillers and antibiotics so not sure if these will affect weight loss. Nothing is ever simple!!